Back to school voice mail.

I just called Memere. She wasn’t there, so I left a message on her answering machine. It went something like this:

“Hi Mom, it’s Julie. I was just thinking about how it’s back to school day today, and ya Jeff and I are all worried about what teacher Daws will have and whether Claudia will be in her little stalker’s class, but we are sure it will all be fine. They didn’t even want me to walk them into school today! They pranced out of the car like it was any other day, told me they had it all covered. I tried to play dress up with them this morning! Even went so far as to suggest outfits, but they wouldn’t have any of it, just didn’t care what they wore. Claudia especially, and I mentally took a breath and let her just be – there will be time enough for her to worry about how she looks, right? Are you proud of me? Anyways. That’s kind of why I called. Yes it’s the middle of the afternoon and you’re likely thinking this is a telemarketer leaving a message – AOOOOGGGAAAAHHH you’ve won a cruise, type thing – but it’s me. It struck me that it’s back to school for parents all over the place, but it’s also back to school for you – a grandparent. Claudia starts grade 3 today and that’s the year we switched from the Catholic school to Tweed Public – I remember a picture of us in sundresses with elastic at the torso standing at the apple tree. Maybe that wasn’t from Grade 3, it was First Communion… my memory craps out on me at times. Anyways. I remembered and wanted to say… ya. You sent us off to school and I appreciate now how well you parented us, and I’m not freaking out or hormonal or anything, I’m a bit OD’d on caffeine if you really must know – I waited until my 40’s to get into it and am making up for lost time. I’m actually literally SWEATING I’ve had a bit much tea and latte hot business today. Are you still listening? Doesn’t this thing ever beep?? K. Your code word if you listened this far, because I suspect you will hang up before getting this far is turquoise. Cuz I’m wearing a plastic bracelet today that looks like turquoise and I keep getting compliments on it and normally I would say “Oh my god, it was only $3!” but today I’m just kind of grunting and keeping going. Everything’s fine, I’m just in a bit of a zoner mode. Is that a word? I don’t think so. GAH! Listen to me! K. Second code word, cuz you for sure hung up by now is zebra, cuz I keep one on my desk at work. The reason why is much too long of a story for this voice mail but there you have it. I wanted you to know I thought of you today, being back to school and everything. I love you and hope this rainy day has you thinking fondly of other back to school days you weathered. Oh and get ready, we’re coming up on Sunday. It’s grandparent’s day! So we are coming for you! I know [my sister] has plans but we will hopefully get to lay eyes on you and either take you out to dinner or something, so ya. I’m going to go lick the bottom of my coffee mug. See you this weekend. I can’t believe this thing never beeps!”

*click*

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2 Responses to Back to school voice mail.

  1. caro says:

    Of course Zoners is a word! That was our team name for some silly thing we did in high school.

  2. onecrazykid says:

    Could I love that voice mail message any more? Did you get to test out the code words yet to see if she was listening? Bahahahah! I need to remember that for the next time I call my parents. Happy back to school day to you too Julie!

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