I was just in a meeting, talking details, and being useful when a Jurassic-sized wasp flew into the side of my head and got stuck in my hair. My ensuing thought process was something like this:
“Did that really just happen? Is it still there? What the hell? Pretend it’s a fascinator. How fascinating! I should watch those Ben Zander videos again I love him. Augh it’s still moving around!? Fascinator fascinator… I hate that Womanizer song. What did he just say? Can he see the wasp? I think he saw it. It’s the size of a daschund and it’s on the side of my head! I can’t believe I dance on stage tonight. GAH he’s looking at me! Nonchalantly brush it away. Casual. Here we go! Nonchalant is such a cool word…”
And I brushed the wasp away. It flew off, stirring papers with its wingbeats as it went, it was so large. This all played out in the span of 30 seconds. As the wasp flew off and I met the eyes of the person I was meeting with I had two options; a) keep it professional and stay on topic or b) be Julie.
“Did you SEE the size of that turkey that just landed in my hair?!” He had, indeed noticed. He also agreed I get a point for not shrieking, diving, or flailing. We continued with the work at hand. It was a good meeting.