Thank you letter to a jerk.

I was at the mall yesterday. From the air, I’m certain the Town Centre looked like an ant hill that had the top mowed off. There were people zipping in and out, bustling all around carrying things and going about their business. The parking lot was much the same.

I joined the mass of ants. I got in, got what I needed, and got out. To the individual who left the imitation parking ticket on my car: I know you’re not good with words because you use a fill-in-the blank notepad to express yourself. I will keep this brief.

I suspect you are not my type of person. Perhaps because of your limited powers of observation? Demonstrated lack of comprehension and empathy? Maybe it was you checking a box saying you think I am an asshole. What I could make out of your handwriting suggests repression and aggression. I took a graphology course. Always interesting the ways it comes in handy.

I invite you to wait next time you have a problem and speak directly to me. I’ve been told I have a way with words and when I’m expressing my disdain I can be particularly effective. I would have pointed out that your ability to be rude gets you through a day, but the unrest in your mind at night when you’re trying to sleep is because deep down you know you’re a jerk.

Please know I resumed skipping la-la-la through my day after receiving your note. I suspect you walked away from my car thinking you taught me a lesson. You did. That’s why I want to thank you. I learned there are people like you who represent what is wrong in this world and people like me who can nullify your impact by not sinking to your level.


p.s. Please understand that in a parking lot when spaces are tight it can be the result of more than one driver’s decision. I parked in relation to the two cars I pulled between. If you were more observant you would have realized the whole row was crooked. However I am glad to have been the recipient of your missive. If it had been on the elderly gentleman’s car who pulled out when I parked in the first place your disgusting behaviour might have done some actual damage and ruined someone’s day.

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2 Responses to Thank you letter to a jerk.

  1. Jerks will be jerks. Onwards!

  2. Mark W says:

    The jerk you encountered is representative of millions of people out there who always assume the worst of strangers. The inability to give the benefit of the doubt is also the root cause of road rage. In my own life, I try to counter the negative reaction cognitively: if someone cuts me off, I tell myself they’re rushing to a hospital or can’t see clearly because they have tears in their eyes. I don’t care if that’s true or not — it gives me perspective. Like I tell my kids: when you feel angry you only hurt yourself. 🙂

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